Awoke from an ill-advised nap, and a dream of my sister. "Masahiko," she whispered, and when I told her I had shed that name when I came to Ul'dah, she took my hands in her own and looked so sad...
It's punishingly hot and dry here in Twine.
Vauthry, swift becoming my most hated enemy, marshaled an army of sin eaters upon Lakeland and the Crystarium yesterday. The Exarch spoke of an ability of Vauthry's to thrall the minds of others; this explains, I suppose, his mastery over the creatures, though I still harbor a secret belief that Vauthry is himself a sin eater, perhaps a Lightwarden... His behavior is too different from the rest I've encountered, I know, even the sin-eater shades of the old Warriors of Darkness. Maybe I'm just looking for a justification to cut the bastard's head off. We lost a lot of soldiers and a lot of civilians. For every two I took down, three more were out of my reach.
We're in Amh Araeng now, in a tiny village called Garik, on the way to what might be a suicide mission for Minfilia. I don't understand the details, but she wants to... merge with? the original Oracle of Light, the Minfilia of the Scions, in order to fully utilize the powers the Oracle can wield. In order to hunt down Kholusia's Lightwarden.
Thancred is convinced that she will die. But it's more complex than that, I think, since 'she' could mean either this Minfilia or the original. Hm. Y'shtola once called this Minfilia 'Minifilia' in jest, out of earshot, but it's an easier distinction to make. It seems from what I can gather that Minfilia will replace Minifilia in this vessel, or that the reverse will happen. Either way, a loss of a Minfilia for Thancred.
He feels so much, so strongly. I don't remember the last time I felt more than shades of emotion. I envy him.
It has been a tiring day, though I haven't done much of note. After the events of the last... days... weeks... months... I wanted a rest, and my friends agreed with a relief that I found almost offensive. There are many calls on my time! Only Thancred looked as though he wanted to protest. Y'shtola send me off to the Pendants with so much force I wonder if she things that a healthy sleep schedule will be enough to stop me from turning into a Lightwarden.
Ardbert advised me not to think of that, and I agree. There's nothing I can do. But sitting in my chambers staring up at the sky did nothing to prevent my thoughts from wandering, so I made my way to the markets. Feo Ul still helps me graciously with my retainers, though I still don't understand how they can do this and still be Titania over in Il Mheg. The pixies are somewhat beyond me. I hope that sentence conveys my weariness with them, because after tending to the tasks of my retainers and idly perusing the Crystarium's market boards, Sylvester and I made our way to Lydha Lran so I could place myself at the beck and call of Uin Nee.
I'm not being as gracious about this as I should be. They're certainly not forcing me to travel Il Mheg on their whimsical little tasks, and in fairness I enjoy the landscape and the smell of the air there. But maybe my endless string of grand exploits has made me jaded to the silliness of taking a Nu Mou's porxie for a walk, or waking up a pixie because Uin Nee wants to have a party with them...
If Susurus were here instead of the Source, she would be taking me to task for complaining. And she's right. Gaining favor with the pixies allows me to interact with dreams in a way that has fascinated me since I was a child, and the little flower-shaped 'fancies' they give me as recompense are intricate and beautiful and make a soothing noise against each other in my pockets. So even though I complain, and even though Uin Nee's antics left me tired, I did enjoy my daily trip to Il Mheg, and it made the comfort of returning to the Crystarium all the more profound.
I found sitting on my bed staring at the wall just as fulfilling after doing fairy chores as I did before, so after a brief lunch I took myself to one of the corners by the Rookery with a barrel the not-Amalj'aa kindly allowed me to set up, and did some practice with the rudimentary Red Mage skills Alisaie has managed to impress on me. The thaumaturge training from my past life still serves me well, as well as the advice on conjury that E-Sumi-Yan has given me. It makes me uncomfortable to step so close to the arts my honored parents pressed upon me in my childhood, but I need to be variable and flexible and able to handle anything this world throws at me. I need to be able to attack and defend and heal as circumstances require. I need to always be ready.